How to Help

When I decided to do this post this is the one that I knew I was going to have the most problem with. Asking for help, admitting that I might need it or just feeling worthy of it. So many emotions are already on the surface and then having to be vulnerable is hard. So I am doing my best to think of things that can help me but others too. Ideas that maybe haven’t been thought of.

First I want to thank everyone who has stepped in and already done things for us. There have been so many and it is hard to thank everyone individually, but it is so appreciative.

What was and is most important to me is my family.

On treatment days –which last the whole day, having someone get my kid to the bus stop safely was my top priority. I am grateful that my neighbor stepped up and without hesitation – having her own kids that go to a different school takes the time and picks her up and gets her there. And then my dog, leaving him inside all day is also rough. Another neighbor takes him outside and runs him at their lunch time. And while we were in construction, someone took him out then too. These have made those days easier because I knew they were in good hands.

If you have a child that lives outside the home – get a couple of numbers of people that are close to them so that incase you cannot get a hold of your child – they can. I am very blessed in that my child has made a group of friends that support them. They even game me a notebook with messages that encourage me and let me know that they are there for my child. This is also one of the greatest gifts I have received.

The meal train has been incredible on Monday and Tuesdays, and we thank you.

So here are the lists of other things that might be helpful now and in the future for us and other patients.

Food – I didn’t know that breakfast and lunches would be as hard as they are. Not eating but sometimes deciding on what to eat. So here are my ideas for all food items

·       Frozen breakfast sandwiches or burritos

·       Frozen quiche

·       Bagels

·       Anything that can popped in the microwave or oven for a quick breakfast

·       Having snacks or lunch items for the kids, individual chips, deserts, fruit, things that make it easier in the mornings so it is a grab and go type thing

·       Frozen meals – individual and/or family – these can be used on days where we don’t feel like cooking or haven’t gotten to the grocery store

o   Frozen ready to go crockpot meals that can be thrown in the morning

o   Homemade casseroles are great

o   If you are out of town and want to send something I found a couple of places that do comfort food

§  Spoonful of comfort

§  Southern baked Pies

·       Meal Kit – have everything ready to assemble – like spaghetti dinner- Frozen meatballs, spaghetti, sauces, etc

·       Sometimes just having a desert on hand is amazing as well

Other items that might help emotionally sometimes we need instant gratification because chemo is hard and sometimes, we need something to look forward to – to help us see the end game of chemo.

·       Flowers at the beginning are a better option that flowers in the middle or end because the flowers can produce mold and bacteria. If the patient’s immune system is too compromised – this might be an issue. Think of a plant instead – me I like both and don’t care.

·       Coloring books and puzzle games – if they are taking these to the treatment center – the spiral bound ones work best

·       Magazines to a hobby – like gardening, cooking, etc – it is easier to focus on the books sometimes that the ipad screen

·       Essentials – pain medicine (Advil and Tylenol), nasal mist, Benadryl, Kleenex, mints, lotions, (avene is an approved brand for chemo patients) magnesium lotion – we get leg cramps at night, hand sanitizer, ginger mints, tums, ChapSticks, clear nail polish, Clorox wipes

·       Hand weight grippers – this just came to me the other day because I realized how weak I was. You can’t work out a lot but having the grippers is something that we can do.

·       A lavender inspired basket insomnia – eye masks, lotions, lavender sprays, headed eye patches, personal book light with journal and pen

·       Journals and notebooks and colorful pens are always good too.

·       Teas – ginger and turmeric teas – fun floral teas